


Meant To Be

by triyxx



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Closeted Character, F/F, F/M, Gay, M/M, Marijuana, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-03-14 18:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13595739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triyxx/pseuds/triyxx
Summary: au where Eskild finds both Isak and Even at different times but they both end up living in his basement





	1. one

**April 2018**

 

**Saturday**

 

“Have you seen my maroon hoodie?

 

Hello?

 

Isak?” 

 

_ What is it now? _

 

Isak’s head sprang up from his pillow after he heard his roommates voice, pulling him out of his sleep. 

 

“Hva faen, Even? Hva vil du?” Isak asked then slammed his head back into his blue pillow. 

 

_ Why does EVERYONE have to bother him when he’s finally able to get some sleep? _

 

“Have you seen my maroon hoodie?” Even asks again. 

 

“Nei, jeg har ikke,” Isak says and rolls under his striped blanket to face away from the light coming into the room from the door that Even is keeping open. 

 

“Isak, it’s almost 15. You need to get up,” Even said.

 

“Jesus, you sound like Eskild. Faen, can you please close the door it’s so bright!”

 

“You’re a vampire,” Even chuckled before stepping into Isak’s room and closing his door behind him. He walked over to the bed and laid down next to where Isak was lying. Isak rolled back around in the bed and faced Even. 

 

“Are you going out?” Isak asks.

 

“Ja. Sonja asked me to lunch with her parents,” Even says as he begins carding his fingers through Isak’s golden waves. 

 

_ Oh, Sonja... _

 

“How is she doing?” 

 

_ He doesn’t care.  _

 

“I haven’t seen her in a while.” 

 

_ He’s not so secretly glad he hasn’t seen his roommate’s girlfriend in a solid two weeks.  _

 

“She’s good. Stressed though.”

 

“Aren’t we all?” Isak can only imagine the bright smile Even has plastered on his face as he laughs at Isak’s comment. His eyes are still closed and all he wants is to fall back asleep. 

 

Even takes his hand away from Isak’s hand and starts using his long fingers to trace his facial features. His first finger runs down his eyebrow, fixing the hairs that were pushed around during his sleep. His thumb drags along his cheekbone then skips over his lips and down to his chin which then drags down along his jawline. 

 

_ He loves this.  _

 

“I should probably go,” Even states. 

 

_ Please no. _

 

“Can you wait for me to fall asleep again?” Isak asks. 

 

“Of course,” he says then starts back again at Isak’s eyebrows. 

 

_ Thank you. _

 

“Thank you.”

 

Isak then cuddles closer to Even, resting his head against Even’s chest. He takes a large inhale, his nose filling with Even’s sent that Isak can’t help but love. 

 

Isak has been living with Even (along with Eskild and Linn) for about two years now. He moved in at the end of his first year of high school when he was only sixteen; running into Eskild at a gay bar while drunk off his ass in the middle of the night. 

 

When Eskild offered Isak a place to stay for the night, he couldn’t refuse. He was brought back to the basement of Eskild’s apartment. To his drunken surprise, there was already another person staying in his basement. Of course, Isak thought this was a little weird. 

 

_ Did this guy just bring drunk lonely teenagers to their basements in the promise of shelter? _

 

He found out the next day that he and the other boy in the basement were lucky enough to stumble across Eskild; and that the other boy’s name is Even. They wouldn’t know where they’d be today if they had never met the red-haired man those fateful nights. 

 

When Even finally noticed that Isak’s breathing had slowed down and his face was soft, he slowly got out of Isak’s embrace and left his room; quietly closing the door. 

 

“Even! Hei!” he heard Eskild say as he walked by the doorway to the kitchen. 

 

“Hei, Eskild. What’s up?” Even asked while walking over to the small table they had in their shared kitchen. On top of the table was the maroon hoodie he had woken Isak up looking for. 

 

Usually, when he couldn’t find a piece of clothing he assumed that Isak must have it. 

 

“Linn and I are trying to find a movie to watch in her room and I was getting us some snacks,” he explained. 

 

“Fett,” Even said plainly. 

 

“Going out?” Eskild asks. 

 

“I’m going for a late lunch with Sonja.”

 

“Oh, Sonja,” Eskild said and turned his back to Even, opening the cabinet and rummaging through it looking for something for him and Linn. 

 

“Yes... Sonja,” Even said, his voice slightly higher in a questioning tone. “Well, I’ll see you later. Have fun with Linn,” he said and turned the corner out of the doorway. “Oh! Also, can you please make sure Isak gets up some time today and eats something?” Even requested. 

 

“Of course, Baby Giraffe,” Eskild says and winks at him. 

 

“Takk. Ha det, Eskild.”

 

“Ha det!” Even heard Eskild yell back as he closed the apartment door behind him. 

 

-

 

When Isak woke up he half expected Even to still be there lying there next to him. He let out a sigh of disappointment when he saw the other side of his bed, empty. 

 

_ Disappointed but not surprised _

 

His stomach growled loudly as the realization that he hadn’t eaten yet that day sunk in. He slid out of his warm cocoon of a bed and slipped on a gray hoodie he found on the floor. He exited his room and made his way over to the kitchen to grab some food. 

 

When he got into the kitchen he scanned the room to see if there were any easy snacks just sitting on the counter ready for him to grab and take back into the room. His eyes landed on a bowl of small noodles sitting on the counter; plastic wrap covering the top along with a small yellow post-it note on top.

 

He walked over to the counter and picked the square note up and read the small message. 

 

_ Isak, _

 

_ Take the plastic off and microwave for a minute with a paper towel covering the top and enjoy. _

 

_ Xoxo _

_ -Eskild _

 

He smiled to himself, silently thankful for Eskild’s kindness. He did as the note said and microwaved the small bowl of pasta then brought it back to his room. He snuggles up back in his still warm bed and turned Netflix on his TV and turned on a random episode of Family Guy. 

 

He pulled his phone out and typed a small message. After he hit send he pulled the bowl onto his lap and got comfortable and ate his dinner. 

  
  


_ Isak: thanks for the food <3 _

 

_ Eskild: anything for you, angel <33333 _

 

-

 

**Monday**

 

His eyes slowly shutting, him no longer being able to keep them open. His face smooshes harder into his left hand propped up on his elbow. The teacher’s voice echoing in his head, barely comprehending whatever she was talking about today. 

 

“Isak Valtersen, I swear to god if you don’t listen to me I will pour this entire bottle of water on your head,” he hears before Sana snaps her fingers in his face.

  
  


“Hva faen, Sana!” Isak says, pushing her fingers out of his face. He then looks up towards the front of the classroom where their teacher is standing and is no longer talking. On the board, he sees their new assignment that Sana was obviously trying to get him to start working on with her. 

 

“Did you even hear anything she just said?” she asks, clearly expecting a disappointing answer. 

 

“Not a word,” Isak says. He looks down at the notes he had taken that day. The only thing written on his paper was the date and the name of the subject that the rest of his class had managed to actually write on their notebooks. 

 

“What would you do without me, Issy?” Sana asks as she hands him her notebook. Every line of the page filled, color coordinated, perfectly organized. Isak then took his pen and copied her notes onto his empty page. 

 

“I’d probably still be in my second year,” Isak jokes. “I don’t deserve you, Sana.”

 

“And don’t you forget it,” she says with a serious face. They look at each other for a few seconds completely poker-faced before they both break out into smiles and continue what they were doing. 

 

Once their class period is finished, Isak is finishing copying the last few notes and Sana is bubbling in the last question.

 

“So I did our work today, so you owe me,” she stated as a matter of fact.

 

“I owe you everything,” Isak laughs. 

 

“Yeah, yeah. See you tomorrow, Issy,” she said and waves before taking her leave. 

 

Isak packs all his books in his bag and pulls on his jacket while also taking his phone out that started vibrating with a single notification.

 

_ Even (kollektivet): you have lunch now? _

 

_ Isak: ja _

 

_ Even (kollektivet): KB in ten? :)) _

 

_ Isak: see you there  _

 

-

 

Isak arrived at the Kaffebrenneriet about twelve minutes later. The line wasn’t too long, only three people standing there. He could see Even’s blond hair above the head of the person he was currently serving. Isak smiled to himself and then stepped in line. 

 

A few minutes later, the person in front of him stepped away to wait for their drink. Isak stepped forward and Even still hadn’t noticed that it was his best friend standing in front of him. 

 

“Hold on a minute, sorry,” he said, his eyebrows scrunched together as he pressed random buttons on the cashier screen in front of him. 

 

“Jesus! This service is fucking horrible! I hope you enjoy your one-star review on Yelp,” Isak said in a disgusted tone. Even’s head snapped up when he heard Isak’s words.

 

His face brightened and his mouth widened into a giant smile that made Isak smile as well. 

 

_ Fuck, he’s so pretty _

 

“Hey, you. Black coffee I presume?” Even asks.

 

“Nei, not today. Can I have a green tea?”

 

“Wow, changing it up. I like this new crazy Isak. He’s wild,” Even jokes as he writes Isak’s order on his cup. 

 

“So wild,” Isak smiled. “Want to know what wild Isak did this morning?” Isak asked and placed both hands on the counter. 

 

“What’s that?” Even asked and mirrored his movements. 

 

“I left all the lights in the Kollektivet on, and I don’t even feel bad about it.” 

 

“Wow, so crazy,” Even said and smiled. 

 

-

 

Fifteen minutes later, Isak is walking back to school with his stomach filled all thanks to his best friend. His mind wonders as he walks. He wonders about how these next two months are going to go. His last two months of high school. Two months until he’s 19. 

 

He then wonders about how his social life will play out. Will he go to uni with his friends? Are they all going to split up after this summer? 

 

Of course, he hopes for the best. That all their friends get into their dream schools (preferably still in this country) and they continue to grow up together. 

 

Maybe he just thinks he’s not ready to come out to another friend group. Only the boys know about him. And of course Sana, but Isak is sure she knew long before he told her. 

 

The first person he came out to was Eskild though. He couldn’t exactly help it considering the location in which Eskild found Isak. Even was next. The day after Eskild had found him, Isak woke up to the large blond boy leaning against one of the walls in their shared basement space reading a small book. 

 

They had talked for hours, both of them coming out to each other. 

 

Isak continued on his day as normal. Both his and Jonas’ classes ended at 15:30 so they met at the end of the day. 

 

“Kebabs?” Jonas asked. 

 

“Of course,” Isak smiled back. 

 

The two teenagers walked down the streets of Oslo to get their normal after-school snack. After they got their food, they made their way back to Isak’s place to play FIFA and probably smoke a little. 

 

“So, what’s the news on Eva?” Isak asks. 

 

“The news is I think it’s over for good,” Jonas says. 

 

“Damn, really? What happened?”   
  


“Your roommate happened,” Jonas said and Isak’s eyebrows sewed together.

 

_ What did Even do? _

 

“My roommate?”

 

“Ja. Noora.”

 

“Oh, Noora! I thought you meant Even, hva faen,” he laughs. 

 

“Nei. We all know Even wouldn’t make a move on Eva. Let alone anyone besides you,” Jonas says and laughs it off. 

 

“What?” Isak asks.

 

“What?” Jonas says back. 

 

“What do you mean “anyone besides me”?” Isak asks.

 

“I just mean,” he thinks for a few seconds. “When you told me you like boys, I thought that meant in like a week you’d come back to me and say that Even was finally your boyfriend. Or at least that you like him or something. But then months passed and nothing happened.”

 

“Seriously? You thought that me and Even were a thing?”

 

Before Jonas could answer him, there was a soft knock on his door. Isak told whoever it was to come in. Moments later, Even’s large hair was peeking around the door and he greeted both of the younger boys. 

 

Isak hoped Even couldn’t hear his heart pounding in his chest, overthinking whether or not what he said right before Even knocked on his door was loud enough to hear from the hallway. 

 

The last thing Isak wished for is for Even to find out that he’s been thinking of him in a way any other than friendship. This is the one friendship he hadn’t managed to fuck up in the past and he hopes he never will in the future. 


	2. overthinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title says it tbh

Tuesday

Overthinking is something that Isak has always done. Every social interaction he has, he always walks away with lingering questions in his head. 

Was I standing too close to him?

Did I explain that well enough?

It’s always the same questions. He never overthinks anything more than his relationship with Even. Every single word he says. Every single move he makes. Isak thinks there’s a meaning behind all of them. 

He’s always brought back to reality when he remembers her. Sonja. 

Even was with her when they met. He didn’t know about her until weeks later though. He felt… betrayed? He doesn’t even know.

He thinks how can I feel betrayed when he didn’t actually do anything to betray him?

He never seems to stop doing what he’s doing. Especially right now in the middle of class. This time, instead of Sana sitting next to him ready to snap him from his thoughts, Magnus is sitting next to him, texting Vilde and giggling to himself. 

Usually, when they’re in this class, Isak is the one getting Magnus to pay attention to their teacher but today they’re both too far gone. 

When the bell finally rings, both boys practically jump out of their seats. 

“Dude, fuck! I didn’t pay attention at all,” Magnus says as he swings his bag over his shoulder. 

“Neither did I,” Isak says and yawns. 

“Well shit,” Magnus laughs. The boys leave the classroom and walk to Isak’s locker where Jonas is already standing. 

“Hey, bro,” Isak said and clapped his and his best friend’s hands together. 

“What’s up, boys,” Jonas said then clapped hands with Magnus. Isak walked over to his locker and put in his passcode.

“Isak and I just wasted an entire class period. I seriously have no idea what she said,” Magnus says and laughs. 

“How did you both manage to do that?” Jonas laughed. 

“I just got distracted,” Isak says and pulls his biology book out of his locker, along with two other books falling out onto the floor. “Fuck,” he mumbles to himself. 

Magnus laughs at him but bends down and helps him stuff the books back into Isak’s locker. 

“I was busy texting Vilde,” Magnus says and smiles to himself. 

“Yeah? How’s it going with her?” Jonas asks. 

“So good! She’s amazing and so sexy,”

“Magnus, Jesus,” Isak says.

“What?!” Magnus asks. 

“I don’t want to think about Vilde like that,” Isak says and scrunches his face. He quickly slams his locker so the books that were stuffed in there wouldn’t explode out again. He locks it then looks back at the two boys who are giving him a “really?” look. 

“What?” Isak asks, confused. 

“You really need to clean out your locker,” Jonas says. 

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t have the time,” he says just as the bell rings. “Got to go,” he says and rushes off to his next class. 

-

Currently, Isak is sitting at his desk reading through his Biology textbook, answering his homework questions. Even is in his room, sitting on his bed on his laptop editing something that he hasn’t told Isak about yet. Both boys have headphones stuck in their ears. Isak listening to chill rap songs and Even listening to his film. 

This is something they do often. Be alone together. It’s Isak favorite thing in the whole world. Usually, they do this in Isak’s room. Even is rarely in his room. Usually, he’s either hanging out with Isak in his room or the living room or his out with Sonja. 

Isak doesn’t like going in Even’s room. He’s never told Even this but he knows. He can tell by the way Isak acts in his room. He never sits on Even’s bed, doesn’t look at the clothes on the floor, the picture of him and Sonja in a picture frame on his nightstand. 

He mostly doesn’t like Even’s room because whenever Sonja is there, she’s in his room. It’s tainted in Isak’s mind. It’s where they do what couples do. What Isak wishes he could do with Even. But of course, he’ll never tell Even any of this. 

Isak knows that Even and Sonja aren’t exactly the perfect couple. He knows that they fight a lot. And that they’ve broken up and gotten back together more times than Isak wants to count. 

“Isak,” Even says. Isak doesn’t move though. He’s paying too much attention to his textbook and his music is too loud. “Isak!” he says again, a little louder. Still nothing. 

Even pulls one of the pillows that he’s leaning against out from behind him and throws it at Isak’s curly haired head. 

“Ah, what the hell?” Isak says and picks the pillow off of the floor and throws it back at Even. Even catches it and laughs at Isak. Isak can’t help but smile back. 

“Come here. I need your opinion,” Even says and takes one of his headphones out of his ear. 

“How many times do I have to tell you I know nothing about movies or editing or any of that stuff,” Isak says but gets up anyway. 

“And how many times do I have to say that that doesn’t matter,” Even says and smiles at Isak as he sits down next to him. Even pushes the computer so it’s half on his own lap and half on Isak’s. He hands Isak one of his headphones and Isak fits it in his ear. Even scoots over and their legs are now touching each other from their hips down to their feet. 

Isak tries not to overthink it again. He breathes deeply and tries to make his heart rate stay the same but he honestly feels like he’s failing. 

“So, it’s a silent film project. The only noise we’re allowed to have is music and the songs can’t have lyrics,” Even explains. 

“So it’s not a silent film,” Isak says and smirks at his own joke. 

“Shut up,” Even says and pokes Isak’s side causing him to laugh loudly and both of them to smile brightly. 

“Okay. What do I have to pay attention to?” Isak asks. 

“I need you to see if you can understand the storyline,” Even says. 

“Okay easy enough,” Isak says. Even smiles at him and the presses the play button on his laptop.

The black screen then fades on to a black and white shot of a random Oslo street along with soft music fades in along. The screen changes to show an apartment building. Isak has never seen this place before but he doesn’t really think much of it. 

The melody of piano and violins get noticeably quieter as the shot moves to a man laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The music is slow and soft as the man leaves his bed and goes to his kitchen. 

The thing that Isak is really paying attention to is the unhappiness and discontent that’s clear on the man’s face. They watch as he makes a cup of coffee and gets ready for his day, the clips not taking too much of the clip. He leaves his apartment and enters a restaurant and sits down with a girl. Before he sits down he kissed her on her cheek. 

The girls face is not what Isak would’ve expected. She’s obviously not excited to see him even though it’s clear that this is a date of some sort. As he continues watching it starts to become clear to him; they’re not in a happy relationship.

On the screen, the man’s eyes start to travel away from the girl and obviously land on something interesting. The camera changes and they see what he’s looking at. There’s a guy sitting at another table with another guy. Isak sees the black and white filter on the video change to show the slightest amount of color. The guy that the man is looking at doesn’t notice him looking at him. 

The man looks back at his date and it goes back to black and white. The shots keep changing. It goes from the man looking at his date to his date talking with no sound coming from her mouth since the soft music is still paying, and then to the man’s foot bouncing up and down under the table, then back to the mans face. His eyes travel back to the guy and the color gets more vibrant again. 

The camera shows the guy get up and excuse himself from the table he’s sitting at. The guy walks into the bathroom and the man’s eyes follow him the whole time. The man then also excuses himself from the table and makes his own way to the bathroom. 

When he enters he sees only on stall closed and locked. They’re alone in the bathroom. 

The man’s face looks nervous. He’s looking around the room obviously trying to think of something. He walks over to the sink and starts washing his hands just as the guy leaves his stall and walks over to where the man is standing at the sink. The man finishes washing his hands and then goes to the paper towel dispenser and starts taking some paper towels out. 

Only he doesn’t stop. He keeps going until the dispenser is empty. The camera shows the guy who finally looked at the man just watching him as he takes all the towels. The man looks over at the guy and as they make eye contact, the screen changes and all the colors are bright and clear. 

They both smile at each other and the film along with the music fades out. 

Even pauses the video and takes their headphones out and looks at Isak. 

“So?” Even asks and smiles hopefully at Isak. 

“I don’t even know what to say. It was really good,” Isak says. He looks at Even and his face is practically glowing. 

“You think so?” Even asks. Isak smiles and nods. “Did you get the storyline?” 

“I think so,” Isak says. 

“Explain it to me,” Even replies. 

“Okay. So there’s the main character and he seems very unhappy with his life. He went on a date with who I’m assuming was his girlfriend. He sees another guy while on the date and is interested in him. He chases him to the bathroom and… I can’t really figure out why he took all those towels though,” Isak says and slightly laughs. Even laughs and turns his body a little more the face Isak better. 

“He was trying to get the guy’s attention and that’s all he could think of,” Even explains. 

“He could’ve just said hi,” Isak points out. 

“This is a silent film, Isak. That breaks the rules.” Both boys laugh and Even thanks him for watching. 

He then turns his film into his teacher. They decide since Even’s done with his work and Isak is sick of studying; to watch a movie. They barely move from their positions, only now they’re laying down more and even closer. The relax together and watch the movie that of course Even had picked out. 

-

 

Is overthinking habit is really going to get the best of Isak. He’s been laying in his bed staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours now. Now he’s thinking about Even’s movie. Was this a sign? A sign that maybe Even feels stuck in his relationship with Sonja.

Is Even the man? 

Is Sonja the date?

Is Isak the other guy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ik the part with even's movie is really long but tbh it was the only way i felt like i could explain it oof.  
> feel free to leave comments and kudos, thanks for reading <3


	3. beer and beds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday night fun...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any mistakes lmao

Friday

That same week, Isak invited all his friends over for a pregame at his house. At round 20:30, Isak, Jonas, Magnus, and Mahdi are sitting in Isak’s living room surrounded by empty beer cans and loud music. The boys had been there already for about an hour yet they had already gone through about two packs of beer, Magnus drinking the most but Isak not far behind. 

“So, gutter. Whose house are we going to tonight?” Magnus asks again for the fiftieth time. 

“Magnus you’re so stupid,” Mahdi says after he slaps Magnus softly on the back of his head. 

“Why? What did I say?” he asks and giggles to himself. 

“We’ve told you like ten times already. We’re going to Eva’s,” Jonas says. 

“Ohhh, yeah. I remember now,” he laughs. 

“Please don’t ask again,” Mahdi says and takes another sip of his beer. 

“Yo, Isak,” Jonas says, kicking Isak’s foot to get his friends attention. Isak had been sitting in one of the chairs in his apartment living room staring at the floor for about five minutes now; not saying anything. 

“Ja?” he asks when he finally snaps out of his trance. 

“You good?” Jonas asks.

“Yeah, all good,” he said and nodded his head. Jonas who seemed convinced then asked Isak to pass another beer. As he passes the beer to Jonas Magnus speaks again.

“Isak. You should invite Even to come along. We haven’t chilled with him in a while,” he suggests. 

“Yeah, man. I miss him,” Mahdi chipped in. 

Isak tries thinking a quick way out of this. He was hoping tonight would be a good distraction to stop thinking about his overgrown crush. Him coming along with them wouldn’t exactly help. The boys obviously knew he didn’t have class tomorrow, it being Friday. He couldn’t exactly say he had a date with Sonja since it’s already past eight and he’s still home which is pretty late for a date. 

“Um, I don’t know,” Isak started. 

“He probably doesn’t wanna hang out with a bunch of high schoolers,” Jonas cut in, saving Isak. Jonas didn’t look over to Isak so he couldn’t give him a thankful but he knew that Jonas could tell he was. 

“What’s wrong with hanging out with a bunch of high schoolers?” Magnus asks. “William and Chris did it all the time.”

“Yeah, that was when they were dating high schoolers. Now they dumped their asses and notice; they’re not around anymore,” Jonas says. Thankfully for Isak, they give up and proceed to talk about nothing. 

Around a half hour later, Magnus gets a text from Vilde saying that the party had started and that Eva’s house was filling quickly. The boys quickly grabbed their jackets and slipped on their shoes. All of them carried the leftover beers they had with them as they left Isak’s apartment and started walking to Eva’s.

As they were walking, Mahdi and Magnus started blasting music through the speakers on their phones and sang loudly along. Isak and Jonas were walking behind them, enough space that the two loud, drunk boys in front of them couldn’t hear their conversation. 

“They’re fucking wasted already,” Isak laughs and takes another sip of his beer. 

“Yeah. It’s fucking hilarious,” Jonas says then nudges Isak’s side. “What’s going on with you?” Jonas asks.

“What do you mean?” Isak asks, probably not fooling anyone. 

“You’ve been pretty quiet tonight. Is there something going on with Even?” he asks. 

Isak scoffs before responding.

“Why does everything always go back to Even? Whenever something seems wrong with me you, or Eskild automatically assume something happened with Even. Nothing’s ever going on with Even,” Isak fights, his voice getting a little too loud at the end. 

“Okay, man. Calm down. It’s just…I don’t really know how to explain it. It’s like what I was saying in your room the other day. I’m just waiting for something to happen between you two. I know you feel something towards him. You’re not exactly good at hiding your feelings by the way,” Jonas laughs. 

“Fuck, don’t joke about that. I really do have feelings for him. I have for a really long time. Every time I see him with her it fucking hurts. It just reminds me every day that I can never have what I fucking want in this world.”

“That’s not true, Isak. You can do whatever the fuck you want. Do you even like, see yourself? Your grades are crazy good. You can do what you’ve always wanted to do. Be a crazy smart doctor and save people’s lives and all that stuff. You can do it.”

“I can’t exactly do that when I can’t stop thinking about Even.”

“Then stop thinking about him!” Jonas says.

“It’s not that simple. Do you still think about Eva?” Isak questions. 

“I mean...yeah.”

“Exactly.” 

Jonas sighed in defeat and they kept walking. Eventually, the boys stopped blasting their music and Jonas and Isak caught up with them. They walked and talked quietly until they started to hear the blasting music coming from Eva’s house. 

The boys entered the party and immediately split up. Magnus attached himself to Vilde, Madhi went to go hook up with some random girl, and Jonas was helping Eva keep the party in check. Isak sat on the couch, nursing a cold beer in one hand and scrolling through his phone on the other. 

Isak is never one to be outgoing during parties. Back in first year he was, hooking up with random girls to feel something, smoking, drinking. He doesn’t exactly look at those parties days as good memories though. 

A few moments later, someone is tapping on Isak’s shoulder. He turns to see who it is and is greeted by a thin girl with short black hair and a small but bright smile. 

“Hi!” she greets him excitedly. 

“Hi?” Isak says. 

“Do you wanna be my beer pong partner? There’s already another pair ready.”

“Um, yeah sure,” he agrees.

“Great!” she cheers and pulls him off the couch. He places his beer on the coffee table in front of him and moves over to Eva’s dining room table that has been turned into a beer pong game. 

“Okay so, you know how to play right?” she asks. 

“Of course,” Isak says. “What’s your name?” he asks.

“Emma,” she says and smiles again. 

“Okay, I’m Isak.” 

They start to play. Isak has never been good at this so him and Emma aren’t exactly doing very well. Isak finds out that she’s a second year. She’s apparently seen him around at school all the time. Isak doesn’t have the heart to tell her he’s never seen her face before tonight. 

The couple they’re facing, to Isak’s dismay, were amazing at this game. Ball after ball lands in the cups in front of Isak. He grabs the red plastic and chugs all the liquid down his throat. He knows he should probably stop drinking so much. His head is spinning and the last three balls he’s thrown hasn’t even landed anywhere near the table. 

But the one thing that Isak isn’t thinking about right now is Even. And he really likes it. Whenever he thinks about Even there’s a small pain in his chest, his heart breaks a little more. But with every sip, the liquid is a like a glue that can keep his heart together for now. 

Once he finishes off the last cup, he needs to sit down. The couple celebrates and they hug while Isak just leaves Emma standing there. He falls back down onto the couch where he was less than an hour ago and pulls his phone out of his pocket. 

He can hear someone talking very loudly around him. The person’s voice is like a ringing in his ear and all he wants is for it to stop. He puts his voice down and sees Emma sitting down next to him, rambling on about god knows what. 

How long has she been sitting here?

Fuck, how much did I drink?

I’m so fucking drunk.

Where’s Even?

“Where’s Even?” Isak asks out loud. 

“What?” Emma asks. 

“Even?” he asks then pulls his phone out again. He takes opens his messages and goes to his friend's messages. 

Isak: Hi

Im like kidn of drink

Not kind fo im liek soooooooooooooooooo goen lollllllll

Omh it;s like laet at nigth

You;re sleepinf even omfff

Suddenly his phone is grabbed out of his hand. He looks up to see who did it and Jonas is standing in front of him holding his phone. 

“How drunk are you?” Jonas asks. 

“No, Jonasss. It’s how are you,” Isak says and giggles to himself. 

“Okay, I’m taking you home.” He puts Isak’s phone into his pocket and then grabs his best friend and holds him up. 

“Wait no! Even’s there,” Isak yells. 

“Yes, Isak. I know.”

“I’d have to talk to him.”

“I’m sure he’ll be sleeping by the time we’re back there.” Jonas walks towards the front door. As they’re walking, they run into Eva. Jonas tells her Isak’s current state and she says she understands and that he has to go. Even broken up, they’re still attached. 

As they walk down the streets of Oslo, Isak stumbles all over the place. Jonas catches him whenever he’s about to fall. At one point, Isak stops to puke on a tree and Jonas can only stand behind him and rub his back and make him as comfortable as possible. 

“You know, Jonas,” Isak starts. 

“Yeah?”

“Even wasn’t with her when we met. They had just broken up. Because Even was manic and she didn’t know how to handle him. How fucked up is that? She couldn’t handle him!” Isak was yelling now. 

“Isak, yes it’s fucked up. But you need to be a little quieter.”

“Then like, what? A week later! They were back together and happy like nothing happened. What if they waited a little bit longer. A little bit,” Isak emphasizes and holds his hand out and shows with his fingers a small space, “This little bit longer. I could’ve slipped in there. And got him. Wait no. I couldn’t of done that.”

“Isak,” Jonas tries to stop him. He doesn’t judge anything Isak is saying right now but he knows that if tomorrow Isak remembers what he said he’ll be embarrassed. 

“I was too shy back then. Too far in the closet. I didn't even know what gay was. I mean of course I knew what gay was but I didn’t know that I am that. Now I know though. I’m SO gay. Very gay,” he yells and giggles again. 

“Okay, Isak. I know you’re gay,” Jonas says and catches Isak when he almost walks into a street sign. 

“So fucking gay!” he yells one more time before walking over to Jonas and leaning on him. 

 

“I can’t fucking walk anymore.” Jonas sighs then take Isak’s arm and drape it over his shoulders so he can carry him along the street. 

When they finally make it back to Isak’s place, Jonas realizes the door is locked and Isak is too drunk to know where his keys are. 

Thankfully, less than two minutes later, the door swings open and Even is in the doorway. He’s in his pajamas but has his denim jacket on. His hair is messy and down, Jonas had never seen his hair without product before. 

“Hi,” Jonas says. “He’s pretty fucking drunk,” he says and motions to Isak whose sitting on the floor mostly asleep. 

“Yeah. I was just gonna go find him. He texted me like a half hour ago. I woke up and say the texts then jumped out of bed,” he explains. 

“Oh. Well, can you help me with him?” Jonas asks then goes to pick up the drunk boy. 

“I’ll take it from here,” Even says. 

“No it’s okay,” Jonas says. 

“Jonas, seriously. I know you’re probably not exactly sober either and would rather go to sleep than help your wasted friend,” Even says and gives him an assuring smile. 

“Yeah, I did have a few too many. Thanks, man. Tell him to text me when he wakes up tomorrow,” Jonas says. They say goodbye and Jonas leaves the building. 

Even takes off his jacket and boots then steps out into the hallway to pick up his roommate. 

“Jonas, you smell different,” Isak says as Even wraps his arm around his back in order to carry him inside. 

“It’s not Jonas, Isak,” Even says. Isak gasps loudly and lifts his head. 

“Even! Hi!” he says and the nuzzles his head into Even neck and takes a large breath. “You smell so much better than Jonas,” Isak says. 

Even laughs at the younger boy and closes their front door. 

“Thanks, I guess. I’m gonna take you to your room now,” Even says. 

“No, no, no. Yours.”

“My what?”

“I wanna sleep in your room,” Isak says. 

“Isak…”

“Please.” 

Even couldn’t say no. 

All Isak has wanted since he met Even was to be able to hear what goes on inside of his head. He wants to know how he really thinks of him. His mind is always clouded with ideas and dreams of what him and Even could be if he could just tell him how he feels. 

Even practically carries Isak into his room. Isak face plants into Even’s bed and curls up in the sheets. He hears Even shuffle around a little bit before the lights go off. He feels Even enter the bed but he doesn’t touch him. 

-

When Isak wakes up the next day, he doesn’t know where he is. He feels hands on his face. He knows whose they are though. Even. He opens his eyes and immediately sees blue. He thinks. Then he remembers the night before. 

Shit

“I’m sorry,” Isak mutters before rolling out of the sheets and rushing out of Even’s room. He locks himself in the bathroom and turns on the shower to block off the sounds of him emptying his stomach into the toilet. 

He flushes the toilet then puts down the lid. He sits down and starts crying. It was small what he did the night before, requesting to sleep in his bed. It’s small but obvious. He’s scared that Even knows. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles before placing his face in his hands and letting the tears flow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!  
> feel free to leave comments and kudos


	4. you alive?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is mostly evak hanging out sooo enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big oof  
> sorry for any mistakes

Saturday

After Isak calmed down, he got into the shower to wash last night off of him. After his shower, he went back to his room and slept for another few hours. 

When he woke a few hours later he had a bunch of texts waiting for him to respond to. 

Jonas: Yo

Isak?

You alive?

I’m starting to get worried, please answer

Isak: hey, i’m alive

Jonas: how’s your head?

Isak: i’m dying

Jonas: how was Even after I left

Isak: i embarrassed myself

Jonas: how so?

Isak: i begged him to sleep in his bed

Jonas: jesus christ, isak

Isak: i know. Just don’t say anything

He sighed then turned his phone off. He rolled out of his bed and looked down at his outfit. He was only wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of blue boxers that probably weren’t clean. He walked over to the pile of laundry and picked out a pair of sweatpants that he assumes are clean. After putting them on he leaves his room and walks quickly past Even’s door to get to the kitchen. 

When he gets in there, Eskild is standing by the coffee making pouring himself a cup and Linn is sitting at the table eating some cereal. 

“Hi,” Isak quietly announces himself. 

“Oh hei!” Eskild greets him loudly. “How was your party last night?” he asks, voice still very loud. 

“Please speak softer. My head is killing me,” he says then goes to sit across from Linn at the table in the middle of their kitchen. 

“So I’m guessing because of the killer hangover that you had a pretty wild night,” Eskild says then takes a sip of his coffee. 

“Something like that,” Isak says and then places his head down on the cold table. 

“Aw, my poor baby. Do you want me to make you anything?” Eskild asks.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll do it myself when I find the energy.” Eskild sits next to him at the table and starts to quietly talk to Linn. He runs his fingers through Isak’s curls to make him feel a little better and Isak is thankful for the small gesture. He closes his eyes for a little bit and falls asleep, his arms dangling into his lap and he head on the cold wood table. 

When he opens his eyes, there’s a plate of scrambled eggs in front of him and a blanket over his shoulders. And now instead of Linn sitting across from Isak, Even is sitting there, his hair hanging over his forehead and in the clothes Isak remembers from last night. 

Isak lifts his head from the table and stretches his back on the chair he’s sitting in. He yawns largely before beginning to speak.

“When did these get here?” he asks, voice raspy and worn out.

“About ten minutes ago,” Eskild says. “How’s your head?” he asks. 

“A little better,” Isak says and yawns again. 

“You should eat,” says Even. Isak looks up and meets his blue eyes. His eyes are tired, his hair is greasy like he hasn’t showered in a little too long, his puffy lips are chapped and peeling.

When did he start to look like me?

“Thank you,” Isak says and gives Even a small smile. He pulls the plate closer to him and starts to slowly eat the pieces off while also talking with the two other boys. Isak is surprised it’s not awkward. 

He had never acted with Even like he did the night before. He didn’t exactly sleep through the night entirely. He remembers waking up a few times throughout the night still in Even’s bed, with Even there of course.

He remembers them both in the dark room. Isak whining and grabbing places where his hands shouldn’t go. Even’s lower back, his thighs, his arms, maybe even his neck. Even never touched Isak though except for his arms wrapped around Isak to keep him from rolling off the bed. If Even’s arms weren’t around him, Isak thinks that he probably would of been able to grab more intimate parts of Even. 

He knows that Even didn’t exactly enjoy Isak’s groping sessions last night. Even probably being tired and annoyed at his drunk actions. What would he do if Isak brought it up? Would he act like nothing happened? Would he get mad at me bringing it up?

These thoughts race through Isak’s mind while he sits there and eats, his face calm though so nobody could see the pain he was really in. 

-

Monday 

Two days later, Isak is standing in the courtyard of Nissen with his friends dreading the thought of going to their next classes. 

“Magnus! Please stop using so much detail when you’re talking about Vilde. I don’t wanna imagine any of that!” Isak exclaimed, cutting off Magnus’ story from Friday night’s party. 

“Come on, it’s not that bad!” Magnus fights back, his voice it’s usual high pitch. 

“Nah man, it’s pretty fucking bad,” Mahdi says and Jonas agrees. 

“What’s the point of doing all this shit then if I can’t tell you guys?” Magnus whines. 

“I don’t know, maybe showing your love for one another,” Jonas puts in. 

“Or you know, getting laid,” Mahdi says. 

“Two good points,” Isak says and they all laugh. 

The guys never asked Isak if he had met anyone ‘cause they knew that they weren’t going to get an answer. He didn’t know if the other boys thought the same thing Jonas had thought when he first came out to them. They asked a few questions, mostly Magnus. He never told them about any guy he was ever interested in because there were none, only Even. 

They heard the bell ring from the building and Magnus and Mahdi sighed.

“We gotta go,” Magnus says. They say their goodbyes and Magnus and Mahdi make their way into the school. Isak and Jonas were left standing there along, their class didn’t start for another fifteen minutes. 

“So, what happened after I left Friday?” Jonas asks. 

“I’ve practically told you everything already,” Isak says, not really wanting to say much more. 

“Did you actually sleep in his bed?” Jonas asked, wanting more information. 

“Yeah, I did.”

“Did anything happen, or,”

“Jonas, I could barely keep my eyes open let alone move any parts of my body. Either way, it’s Even. Nothing will ever happen with Even,” Isak explained. 

“Do you want anything to happen with him?”

Fuck yes

“I wouldn’t… mind it,” Isak admitted. 

“Bro,” Jonas dragged out and draped his arms over Isak’s shoulders. “I kind of knew about that already. You told me Friday but I guess you were too drunk to remember. But, I give you guys like, two months before you’re official,” he joked and Isak rolled his eyes. 

“Dude, don’t joke. It’s never gonna happen.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Do you remember Sonja?” Isak asked and saw as Jonas’ happy face fell. 

“Oh fuck.”

“Exactly,” Isak says and pushes Jonas arm off of his back. “We should start heading to class,” Isak says, voice lower than before. 

“Dude, it’s all gonna work out. Don’t worry,” Jonas reassures. 

“That’s a shitty thing to say to someone who worries as much as me,” Isak jokes and laughs and Jonas joins. 

The two boys then made their way to their class and Isak tried as best as he could to not worry.

-

Wednesday

It had been a normal day for Isak. He woke up his normal time, went to school, hung out with his friends a little after school. But when he got home, he knew something was up. He instantly got a bad feeling when he walked through the apartment door. 

He took his shoes off and left them at the door before walking into the kitchen. Eskild was sitting at the table, his laptop propped in front of him. He hadn’t noticed Isak had even entered the room.

“Hei,” Isak greeted. Eskild looked up immediately. 

“Isak, hei!” Eskild said excitedly and motioned for him to come sit. He walked over to the table and plopped down across from his roommate. 

“Has something happened?” Isak asked concerned. 

“Not that I really know of. Linn and Even are in their rooms sleeping and Noora is at Eva’s right now,” Eskild says. 

He hadn’t really talked to Even much in the past few days. Even had been locked in his room for most of the time. Isak was starting to worry. 

Have I missed something?

Did he have an episode and not even notice?

“Have you talked to Even lately?” Isak asks. 

Eskild shrugs before responding. “He came into the kitchen around twenty minutes ago to get some water. That’s all I’ve seen of him today. Why? Is something wrong?” Eskild asks, getting concerned. 

“I’m not sure. We haven’t talked much since Friday.” Isak then says bye to Eskild then walks over towards Even’s room. 

He knocked lightly on the white door. “Even?” he said softly but loud enough for Even to hear him behind the door. He doesn’t get a reply and after a minute he knocks again. 

“Yeah?” he hears Even say a few moments after the second knock. 

“Can I come in?” Isak asks. He usually doesn’t ask before entering. Usually, he just knocked a few times before barging in. It felt weird asking. 

“Yeah,” he heard Even sigh. He pushed open the door. The room was dark and Even was lying in his bed alone. 

“Hei,” Isak greets, still standing in the doorway. 

“Close the door?” Even requests sounding unsure as he does. 

Isak slowly shuts the door and the room is now dark, the only light coming through a small crack between his yellow curtains. He still couldn’t believe after a conversation him and Even had had about parallel universes, Even went out the next day and bought yellow curtains and hung them in his room as a surprise for Isak. 

“How are you?” Isak asks, now standing in front of the door, not any closer to Even’s bed. 

“I broke up with Sonja,” Even states. 

Oh

“When?” Isak asked.

“Saturday night,” he said plainly. 

“Why?” Isak asks, the only question coming into his head. 

“Can you just come lay down?” Even practically whines. 

“Yeah,” he says. He takes off his large winter coat and throws it haphazardly onto Even’s floor and joined the older boy in his bed. 

“You don’t want to talk about it?”

Even shakes his head. Isak understands and doesn’t say anything else. He just moves closer to Even, the taller boy curls into Isak. Even’s head is resting on the nape of Isak’s neck. Isak wraps his arms around Even and comforts his friend. 

‘Cause that’s all this is. 

Isak comforting his friend after a hard breakup. 

He can’t help but feel guilty though. His best friend just broke up with his long-time girlfriend and he can’t even be sad about it. But that’s because his best friend happens to also be the boy he’s in love with. 

-

 

Thursday

Isak woke up in Even’s bed for the second time in a week. This time it wasn’t as scary. He was holding Even and Even had his arms wrapped tightly back around him. He was calm and loved everything about this. Except maybe that Even was sad and heartbroken. 

His alarm on his phone ringed through the room and Isak jumped, most likely waking his sleeping friend. 

“Shit,” he muttered. He unwrapped his arms and reached for his phone that was on top of Even’s nightstand. He stopped it then rolled back into his previous spot. Even’s head was now looking up at Isak, no emotion in his eyes. 

“Good morning,” Isak said. 

“Hei,” Even said, voice groggy. 

“How are you feeling?” Isak asked and placed his hands under his head as a pillow. 

“Tired,” he said plainly. 

“Do you wanna go back to sleep?” 

“You have to go to school. I don’t have class this week.”

“I’ll go in for my afternoon classes,” Isak said and moved his body to get more comfortable.

Even didn’t fight him and just accepted that he wouldn’t be going in. They eventually fell back into their earlier positions while also asleep. 

-

When they woke up, it was after 15. Isak had missed all his day’s classes so they just layed in bed a little while longer, enjoying each other’s company. 

“Do you wanna get some food?” Isak asks a little after 16.

“Do we even have anything in the apartment?” Even responded. 

“Probably not. We could go out,” Isak suggests. 

Even shrugs and rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. Isak rolls over and grabbed his phone. He had received a few texts from Jonas asking him where he was today. 

He responded to them saying that he didn’t feel good so he just didn’t come in.

“Let’s get some McDonalds,” Isak says and gets out of Even’s bed. He turns on the light switch and Even groans in the bed. 

“What the fuck?” Even almost yells. 

“Come on, we need to do something. I need you to get out of this apartment for at least an hour.” Even groans and rolls his eyes but still rolls out of the bed. Isak leaves the room to get his shoes from the door. When he walks back to Even’s room, Even’s changing in front of his bed. 

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Isak says and turns away. He walks out of the door ‘cause he knows that he’s blushing like crazy and wouldn’t be able to hide it from Even. 

“Isak, hei,” Eskild says as he walks out of his own room. 

“Hei,” Isak responds. 

“Are you going out?” he asks. 

“Yeah. With Even,” Isak says and Eskild smirks and raises his eyebrows.

“Where are you two boys going?” he asks. 

“McDonald's,” Isak answers.

“Wow, romantic.”

“Stop!” Isak exclaims and shushes him. “Don’t let him hear you.”

“Isak. Calm down. It was just a joke,” Eskild says.

“Hei, Eskild,” Even said as he walked out of his room, putting on his jacket.

“Even, Hei,” Eskild cheers. 

“Are you coming with us?” Even asks. 

“No. I have my own plans. I’ll see you two tomorrow,” he said before walking up to both boys and kissing them on their cheeks before leaving the apartment. 

“Have you seen my black sneakers?” Even asked. 

“Are they by the door?” Isak asks. Even walks over to the door. He hears Isak yell to him that he found them. 

Isak walks over to him and they both leave through the door. As they walk through the streets, they talk about nothing. 

“How are your classes going?” Even asks. 

“Good for the most part,” Isak responds. 

“What do you mean for the most part?”

“I don’t know. The last few weeks have been pretty rough,” Isak says. 

“I understand that,” says Even. 

Isak looks over at his friend. He looks a little better from the day before. He must have fixed his hair before they left ‘cause it’s no longer falling over his forehead. His eyes still have large bags underneath but his face got some of its color back. 

He knows that he shouldn’t ask how he’s feeling. It’s a stupid question. He just split from the person he was together with for years. If Isak was in the same position, he would hate being asked that. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Even asks suddenly. Isak didn’t even realize that the taller boy had turned his head and was making eye contact with him. 

“I’m not looking at you in any different way,” Isak says then looks forward again. 

“Yeah, okay,” Even says while slightly laughing. When he finishes talking, they’re outside the entrance of the closest McDonald’s. Isak pulls open the door and holds it for Even. 

“Thank you,” Even says and pats his shoulder as he walks into the establishment. Isak walks in behind them. They walk up to the counter and since there was nobody in line, they ordered their food and sat down with their meals in less than five minutes. 

“So,” Isak says once they settle in their booth. 

“So,” Even says back. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Isak asks. 

“About Sonja?” Even asks as if it’s not obvious. 

“Yeah. What else?” Isak says and chuckles to make it all a little less serious. 

“Well. There’s not much to talk about really.” Even looks down at his food. He plays with the wrapper around his burger and waits for someone to say something.

“Why did you do it?” Isak asks and Even looks back up to meet Isak’s eyes. 

“I wasn’t happy with her anymore. I’ve been thinking of doing it for a long time. It’s just Saturday I finally had enough. I was threw living a fake life I guess,” He says and shrugs before taking a large bite from his burger. 

“How long were you thinking of ending it?” 

“I regretted getting back with her back when we first met. After that break up period, it was never the same again. It never even came close to what we used to be.” He takes another bite of his burger, keeping his head down. 

Isak places his foot on top of Even’s as a way to comfort him. He feels Even jump when he does it. He looks up to Isak and gives him a small smile before he starts to talk again. 

“It’s just… I feel bad about this whole thing. I dragged our relationship out so much longer than I should’ve just because I wanted to feel normal. Like how I was before…”

“You shouldn’t feel bad for what you did. You weren’t happy and if you weren’t happy there was no reason for you to be in that relationship. You need to take care of yourself and your feelings and not put anyone’s over yours.”

The words come out of Isak’s mouth so easily, but he can’t help but think why he can’t do anything he said for himself. He would never be able to put his feelings over anyone’s who he cares about. Especially Even. 

“I know you’re right. But it’s so hard to believe that I deserve to be happy.”

This time, Isak grabs Even’s hand over the table. 

“Even,” he says and Even looks at him directly in the eyes. “You’ve been through too much shit In these past two years. You deserve everything that’s good, even if you don’t believe it.” Even smiles at him as best as he can once he stops talking. 

“Thank you, Isak,” he says. They let go of each other’s hands and proceed to eat their food. Even manages most of his burger and all his fries, his stomach usually not able to handle a lot of food when he’s down. Isak eats all his food and gets up to throw both of their trash away. 

Isak sat back down across from Even and sighed loudly. 

“Do you wanna go back home?” Isak asked. 

“Yeah, let’s go,” Even said.

The boys left their booth and the restaurant and started walking back towards their home. Isak and Even never really went out much together, usually only seeing each other at the apartment and just deciding to hang out there. 

Usually they would hang in one of their rooms and watch Even’s favorite movies which he makes Isak watch, but Isak doesn’t mind of course. Sometimes Isak will rant about one of his classes and Even would sit there, his full attention on Isak’s words. Though everything that Isak would say didn’t matter what so ever to Even, but since the words were coming from Isak at the moment, they meant everything.

“So,” Even said after a few blocks of silence. “Is there anything you want to talk about. I feel like we’ve been talking about me for the past week,” he jokes. 

“Ha, yeah. I don’t really have anything going on,” he states. 

“You sure?” Even asks. 

“Do you think there’s something going on?” Isak asks and chuckles, not expecting what Even was going to say next. 

“What about what happened last Friday?” Even says calmly and Isak feels his stomach sink and heart drop. 

“Um,” Isak starts, but doesn’t know how to finish. There’s a very pregnant pause before he speaks again. “I don’t really know what to say. I was really drunk.” 

His eyes are locked on his shoes as he’s walking. He studies the shoes, each lace, each patch of dirt, each wrinkle in the fabric. He tries flooding his mind with any thought he can think of that doesn’t make him want to scream and panic. 

“Yeah, you were,” Even laughs. “Do you remember everything?” Even asks. 

Of course, I fucking do

“Anything specific that you think I should?” Isak asks, trying to avoid the question. 

“No, no.” Even looks down to his shoes right as Isak looks up to him. Isak can’t read his face or what he’s thinking but God he wishes he could. When Isak looks in front of them, eyes off of Even is when Even starts to speak again. 

“Is there a reason you got so drunk that you couldn’t even walk?” Even asks.

“Even…” Isak started.

“‘Cause I know you never do that. The most you drink at parties is like, what? Four beers? Maybe?” 

“I still don’t know what to say,” Isak says. 

“You usually tell me when something is up. Is it something with your mom? Or your dad? Have they talked to you?”

“No. It’s not them. I haven’t talked to them in months.”

“So. It is something.” 

“There’s just…” 

Stop talking

Stop talking

Stop talking

“There’s a person, a guy, that I’ve had some feelings for lately,” he admits. He looks back down to his shoes and refuses to look at his friend. 

Does he know already?

Is he going to know it’s him?

Why did you keep fucking talking?

“Was he the one who made you drink that much?” Even asks and Isak scoffs. 

“What?! No! He wasn’t even there,” Isak says without thinking. 

Shit

“Then why?”

I don’t think he’s catching on

“I don’t know. I guess I just...didn’t want to think about...anything.”

“Isak,” Even said and stopped him. He turned Isak towards him and placed his soft hands on Isak’s face and lifted his head so he would look at him in the eyes like they’ve done many times before. 

“You can’t do shit like that. It will only hurt you more, or even make you do stupider shit while you’re drunk.”

“Jesus, Even,” Isak says and shakes Even’s hands off of him. He turns his body and continues walking to their apartment. “I won’t do it again. To be honest, it didn’t even help,” Isak lies. 

Up until he saw Even that night, his mind wasn’t clouded with thoughts of the taller boy. 

“How about I join you for your next party,” Even suggests when he catches up to Isak. 

“What? Why? I don’t need a babysitter, Even,” Isak says and Even scoffs. 

“I wouldn’t be a babysitter.”

“Your only reason for coming would be to watch me and you’re saying you’re not a babysitter. Okay, Even,” Isak says and slightly chuckles. 

“Okay fine, I’m a babysitter. But I’ll let you drink. Just not as much as last time.”

“You’ll let me drink,” Isak scoffs, using his hands to put quotations around let me drink. 

“I’m only suggesting this because I care about you.” Even says. “If you don’t want me to come next time, I won’t. But if you ask, I will come. I’ll just leave it at that.”

“Okay. Good enough.” 

They continue to walk in silence. Of course, Isak starts to think about what they were just saying. He hadn’t described anything about the guy to Even. But now Even knows that there is a guy. 

“So, Isak,”

Shit

“Who’s the guy who finally caught your eye?”

SHIT

“Shut up,” Isak laughs nervously. “Um, nobody you know,” he says, trying not to say anything else. 

“How do you know I don’t know him? I know a lot of people, Isak,” he says and laughs at his own words. 

“Trust me, you don’t know him,” Isak lies. 

“What does he look like? I’ve dying to know your type.”

My type is you, you fucking idiot

“And why have you been dying to know my type?” Isak asks and laughs. 

“Isak, I’ve known you for like two years and you’ve never shown interest in any guy that I’ve seen you with. I’m a little curious,” Even defends. 

“You’ll find out, eventually.”

Yeah, when I finally move the fuck on

“Disappointing answer. But I’ll accept it,” Even says and laughs and Isak joins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading  
> feel free to leave comments and kudos


	5. blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boy squad and dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a while whoops  
> i'm trying to figure out how to format the texts and stuff but i'm new to posting on ao3 so it might take a while
> 
> i've decided that this is going to be 8 chapters  
> also when this is all finished i'm gonna go back to the earlier chapters and edit them some more and maybe add some to them.
> 
> sorry for any mistakes  
> enjoy!

**Friday**

 

Isak woke up the next morning to a loud knocking on his door. His eyes snapped open at the sudden noises and he groaned loudly, obviously annoyed.

 

“Hva er det?!” he yelled through the door.

 

“Can I come in?” he heard Even’s voice ask through the door. Isak looked down at what he was wearing and saw he was only in his boxers. 

 

“Hold on a minute,” he said back. He rolled out of his bed and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt. He walked over to the door and greeted his roommate. 

 

“God morgen,” Even smiled when Isak opened the door. 

 

“What time is it?” Isak asked. He walked away from the door, leaving it open so Even could come in, and face planted back onto his bed. 

 

“Noon,” Even said. He heard his door close and Even’s footsteps as he walked over to Isak’s bed and sat down next to him. Isak looked up towards Even and saw a perfectly rolled joint tucked behind his ear. 

 

“You gonna smoke that?” Isak asks and pushes his face back in the pillows. 

 

“I was planning on it, yes,” Even says and Isak can hear the smile in his voice. Isak wants to say something about how Even probably shouldn’t smoke but he knows that he’s been good for a long time. Only smoking probably three times a month at the most. 

 

“What are you thinking about?” Even asks. Isak then feels Even’s fingers start to run through his golden hair, massaging his head slightly as he combs his fingers through. 

 

“Nothing to bother you with,” Isak says then rolls onto his back. Even’s hand doesn’t move though, his fingers still tangle in the waves on top of Isak’s head. 

 

“Well, there’s been something I’ve been wanting to tell you,” Even admits. Isak looks up at him with curiosity, usually Even tells him everything. 

 

Isak thinks for a minute and his stomach drops. 

 

_ Shit, is he back with Sonja again? _

 

“Is it bad?” Isak asks. 

 

“I’m not really sure,” Even says and slightly tugs his hand in Isak’s hair before continuing the soft movements.

 

_ Maybe it’s not Sonja this time. _

 

“What is it?” Isak finally asks. 

 

“Mikael texted me,” Even says.

 

_ Oh _

 

Even’s eyes are locked on his hands, not looking down to Isak’s eyes. 

 

“When?”

 

“Last night after we got home,” he says then brings his hand down to the side of Isak’s face and pushes some of Isak’s curls behind his ear. Isak tries hard to not lose his train of thought as Even’s touches become more intimate. 

 

“What did he say?” Isak stumbles out. 

 

“He just said hey. I haven’t opened it yet. I don’t know what he wants and I’m kind of afraid to find out,” Even says, almost no emotion in his voice. 

 

“Is this the first time he’s contacted you since,”

 

“Yeah,” Even cuts him off.

 

_ Since you kissed him and he broke your heart. Something I would never do if you were to finally kiss me… _

 

There was a long silence. Isak almost worried that Even had heard his thoughts but then the silence was cut off by himself.

 

“You don’t have to respond, you know?” Isak says. 

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

“Do you want to?” Isak asks. 

 

“I do  _ not _ want to,” Even says. “He was my best friend for years. I miss him, and the rest of them. You’ve made it easier though,” Even said and Isak tried his best not to blush from Even’s comment. 

 

“Then I think you should respond. Just with hey. Just to see what he wants.” 

 

Even nods his head. He leans onto his side and reaches for his phone from his back pocket. He opens his messages. Isak watches as his fingers quickly click into his message with Mikael, types out his response, but doesn't hit send. 

 

“You gonna do it?” Isak asks. Even sighs closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, opens his eyes, and presses send. 

 

“Was that a little overdramatic?” Even asks after staring at the screen for about ten seconds.  

 

“Maybe a little,” Isak laughs and Even joins. “So can we smoke that or not?” Isak says as he’s still laughing.

 

Even takes the joint from behind his ear and leans over into Isak’s nightstand where he knows there’s a lighter. He brings it to his lips and lights the end and the two boys get high in their own little bubble they created in Isak’s bedroom. 

 

**Monday**

 

Over the weekend, all Isak did was spend time with Even. Both of them held up in one of their rooms, usually Isak’s. Now all he wants to do is admit his feelings. Not to Even of course. He needs to get them off his chest. He needs someone to know all about it. 

 

So now, he’s searching for Jonas. Since he’s already talked about it with him, he doesn’t feel like he’d be exposing a vulnerable part of him. Then again it’s Jonas. Jonas had never once made him feel like uncomfortable or like he couldn’t go to him for anything. He didn’t see him in the schoolyard when he arrived at school after walking Even to work. He’s on his way up to where their lockers are. 

 

Once he arrives after walking up many stairs, he’s greeted by all his friends standing by his locker waiting for him. 

 

“Isak, hey,” Mahdi says and claps his hand with Isak. 

 

“Hva skjer, boys?” Isak greets while also clapping hands with Magnus and Jonas. He moves over to his locker and punches open his combo. 

 

“I hooked up with this  _ amazing _ girl on Saturday,” Mahdi says and the boys cheer.

 

“Nice, man,” Isak says and attempts to pull his biology book that has been jammed into his locker out. 

 

“Where were you this weekend?” Magnus asks. Isak finally gets the book out of his locker but all the loose papers came flying out as well. They all land scattered on the floor around the boys. Isak groans and bends down to clean up his mess. 

 

“Home,” he plainly says. 

 

“Dude, you’re locker situation isn’t getting any better,” Mahdi says. 

 

“I can see that,” Isak says and sighs loudly. “Can you guys help? Just throw them all away I don’t need them.” The other boys bend down and helped gather all of Isak’s papers.

 

“You really just stayed home all weekend, Valtersen? You’re getting old on us?” Magnus jokes. 

  
“I was hanging with Even,” he says. Isak looks up at the boys and they all have a knowing face. “What?” Isak asks. No response. “What the fuck is happening?” Isak asks and slightly chuckles. 

 

“So,” Magnus says and raises his eyebrows. “You and Even,” he finishes. 

 

“Fuck off,” Isak groans and closes his locker just as the bell rings. “Bye, boys,” he says and rushes off, mostly to get out of this conversation but also so Sana doesn’t yell at him for being late to Biology again. 

 

Once he enters the classroom, he makes a b-line over to his and Sana’s seats. Before he sits, he catches a glance at Sana’s computer and sees a picture of someone who he recognizes but can’t remember who. 

 

He thinks hard enough and realizes who it is.

 

_ Mikael _

 

“Hi, Sana,” he says as he sits down. Sana almost jumps out of her seat and slams her computer shut. 

 

“Hi!” she says, her voice a lot higher than normal. 

 

“Was that a picture of um,” he pauses,”Mikael,” he finishes. 

 

“Who?” she asks and pulls her textbook out of her bag. 

 

“Mikael. Even’s old friend. How do you know him?” Isak asks. She brings her finger up to her mouth, telling him to be quiet, just as the teacher begins her lesson. 

 

It’s obvious to Isak that he wasn’t going to get an answer so he opens his textbook to the right page and pays attention to his class as best as he can. 

 

_ Why is Mikael all of a sudden coming up again? _

 

**Thursday**

 

“Isak,” Isak hears Magnus call. He snaps his head up from his phone and looks across the lunch table to his blonde friend. 

 

“Yeah?” he asks. 

 

“Please tell us you’re going to the party tomorrow. You haven’t hung out with us in forever,” he says. 

 

“Well I’m hanging out with you right now, aren’t I?” he says and closes his phone and places it on the table. 

 

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

 

“He’s right man, you gotta come,” Mahdi joins. Isak hears his phone vibrate on the table and he looks down to see he has a text from Even. 

 

**Even**

 

When are you getting home today?

 

15:30.

Why?

 

I got us a reservation at this nice restaurant near KB

 

And why did you do that?

 

I didn’t exactly make the reservation

My coworker had a date with her boyfriend tonight but they had to cancel and they had the reservation but since it’s so hard to get a reservation there they didn’t want to just cancel it so they offered it to me

 

Wow, that’s really nice of her

 

So do you wanna go out with me?

 

Do I have any choice?

 

Nope, you’re coming :)

Don’t be upset, you’ll get good food and get to hang out with me

Your two favorite things :)

 

Only one of those is accurate, I’ll let you guess which one

 

Aw, Isak

You love hanging out with me more than good food, that’s so sweet

 

Ha ha

 

Reservation is at 18:00!

Be ready!

 

-

 

Isak was grinning like an idiot at his phone. He couldn’t help but think this was a date. A date with  _ Even. _ Something Isak has been dreaming of forever. 

 

_ “Do you want to go out with me?”  _

 

Just thinking about Even saying those words to him makes Isak’s cheeks begin to blush. He locks his phone and looks back up to the boys who are looking at him, dumbfounded. 

 

“What?” Isak asks. 

 

“Texting Even?” Magnus asks. 

 

“For Christ's sake!” Isak exclaims and raises his arms. 

 

“Well was it him?” Magnus asks. 

 

“Yeah. It was Even,” Isak admits. 

 

“Knew it. Your eyes practically had hearts popping out of them,” Magnus says and smiles. “When are you two finally gonna fuck?!” 

 

“Magnus!” Jonas exclaims and punches Magnus roughly on the arm. “Too far.”

 

“What?! We’re all thinking it!” 

 

“Do you all think there’s something happening with me and Even?” Isak asks. 

 

“To be honest, yeah,” Mahdi says. 

 

“Ever since we met him and saw you two together, we all assumed some things already happened,” Magnus says and raises his eyebrows. 

 

“Nothing has happened with Even, okay.”

 

“Okay, man. We’ll try to calm down with the Even talk,” Jonas says.

 

“Thank you,” Isak says and sighs. 

 

“So, what were you two texting about?” Magnus asks and Isak picks up his bread roll and throws it at Magnus’ face. 

 

“Shut up!”

 

-

 

Isak knew that when he got home later that Even wouldn’t be there. He had work until 16:30 on weekdays. He went into the kitchen and grabbed some water and a bag of chips and settled into his room. He thinks about tonight. His “date” with Even. 

 

_ Is this finally the night everything happens? _

 

Usually, he doesn’t like getting his hopes up about these things because it never ends up working out how he wants it. He feels like maybe since the way things have been changing lately, tonight is the night.

 

He tries to snap out of his thoughts and sit down on his bed to start his homework. Eventually, he starts working smoothly, answering the questions to the best of his ability. 

 

He doesn’t realize how long he had been doing the work until he hears a knock at his door. 

 

“Can I come in?” Even yells through the door. 

 

“Yeah,” Isak says back. The door opens and reveals Even in a black long sleeve and gray slacks.

 

“You’re not ready,” Even points out immediately. 

 

“Shit. What time is it?” Isak asks. 

 

“17:30. We have to go like now,” Even says. 

 

“Shit. I’m so sorry,” Isak panics and gets up from his bed. He pulls the shirt he’s wearing over his head quickly and starts searching through his closet for a shirt. His finds a navy blue button up and pulls from its hanger. 

 

He turns around as he’s putting one of his arms through the sleeve. He sees Even staring at him with wide eyes and a flushed face. He’s not looking at Isak’s face though. His eyes are locked on Isak’s torso and Isak is trying his best not to think too much into how affected Even looks. 

 

“Are we walking or driving?” Isak asks, trying to break Even’s stare. He finally has both arms in the shirt and he’s quickly trying to button the shirt. Even’s eyes snap away from Isak and he’s now looking at the floor. He clears his throat before answering. 

 

“Um, walking,” he says. Isak now sees the red blush forming on Even’s cheeks. He’s blushing like he got caught doing something he’s not supposed to do. 

 

Isak is only thinking two things right now. 

 

_ Does he like me too? _

 

_ Is this a real date? Our first date?  _

 

Isak walks passed Even and to the apartment door where he left his shoes when he came home earlier. He slipped them on quickly. He patted his back pocket to see if his phone was in his pocket, which it was.

 

As he looks up, he sees Even walking out of his room and over to Isak.    
  


“I’m ready. Let’s go.” 

 

-

 

When they arrive at the restaurant they still have to wait, it being a popular fancy restaurant. Isak finds it ridiculous that the restaurant is so crowded at 18:00 on a Thursday. They wait outside since all the waiting chairs inside are already taken. They sit on a wooden bench placed on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. 

 

Even takes a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and takes one out. He brings it to his lips and lights it while puffing out the smoke. 

 

“I thought you quit those,” Isak says.

 

“I never quit. I just slowed down,” Even responds. 

 

“Slowing down isn’t any better than smoking them at your old rate.”

 

“Yeah but, I’ve had this pack for a month and this is only the sixth one I’ve taken out.”

 

“Don’t they go stale?” Isak asks and chuckles. 

 

“Eh, I don’t notice it,” Even responds and smiles at Isak. They look at each other for a few moments. Isak is just taking in how good Even looks right now. With the string lights from the restaurant shining above their heads, creating soft shadows on Even’s face. His perfect James Dean hair, his lips when he blows out the smoke, his lips in general. 

 

Isak realizes he’s obviously staring at Even’s lips and his eyes snap away. Even’s eyebrows raise when his eyes meet his again and a smile slowly grows on his lips. Isak’s mouth opens, trying to find a way to explain why he was staring at his lips other than the fact that he craves to put his own on top of them.  

 

He doesn’t need to find one thankfully because the host calls Even’s name, telling him their table is ready. 

 

“Let’s go,” Even says and winks at Isak as he gets up from the bench. He throws the cigarette on the ground and steps on it before bending down to pick it up and throw it away. They both walk into the building and follow their waiter to their table. 

  
They’re both quick to put in their orders and once they do they’re left alone at their table in the dimly lit dining room. 

 

“So how was your day?” Even asks as he takes a sip of his water. 

 

“Normal. How was work?” Isak asks. 

 

“Normal. Oh, wait! There was this woman who came in and she was flirting so hard. I was embarrassed for her. I don’t think she realized I was just being nice,” he says and laughs at the memory. 

 

“How was she flirting?” Isak asks. 

 

“She batted her eyelashes at me and complimented my hair and my eyes. Just like normal flirting stuff.”

 

“Was she cute?” Isak can’t help but ask. 

 

“I guess. Why?”

 

“I don’t know. Why weren’t you interested?” Isak asks. 

 

_ Why am I asking these questions? _

 

“Just, not my type I guess. What about you? How’s it going with this guy who you won’t tell me anything about?” Even asks. 

 

“Nothing so far,” he says. “But I’m hoping soon,” he finishes, looking down at his water glass pushing the ice around with his finger, trying not to look up at Even. He feels like even looking into his eyes will tell Even everything he’s been thinking. 

 

“I’m sure it will, Isak. You’re a catch,” Even says and smiles. Isak lets himself look up at his beautiful face. He feels himself soften just by looking at his smile. 

 

“Try telling him that,” Isak says. 

 

“I would if you would just tell me who it is!” he says and Isak laughs. 

 

“I told you, eventually you’ll know.”

 

“Do you have any classes with him?” Even asks and takes another sip of his water. 

 

“No. He doesn’t go to Nissen.”

 

“Where does he go?” 

 

“Um…”

 

_ Don’t say it… _

 

“He graduated.”

 

_ God dammit, Isak.  _

 

“Ooo, an older guy. How do you know him then?”

 

“A mutual friend.”

 

“Which friend?”

 

_ Fuck _

 

He thinks of which friend Even never talks to. 

 

“Mahdi,” he states. 

 

“Ah. How does Mahdi know him?”

 

“What’s with all the questions?!” Isak asks, his voice higher than he intended. 

 

“I just want to get a feel for this guy. I want to know if I need to look out for you or not,” Even explains and Isak’s heart almost burst. 

 

“Don’t worry about it, Even. You don’t need to. I promise. You two would probably like each other,” Isak says. He wants to stop lying. He wants to yell out that this guy is him. He just can’t do it. 

 

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop. Can you just answer one more thing?”

 

Isak sighs, “What?”

 

“What color are his eyes?” Even asks. 

  
“What?” Isak asks, genuinely confused. 

 

“His eyes. What color are they?”

 

“Why?” Isak asks. 

 

“Just answer.” 

 

Isak’s mind races more than it has in the past week. 

 

_ Should I say it? _

 

_ Will it be too obvious? _

 

_ Do I want it to be obvious?  _

 

_ This might be the easiest way of telling him it’s him. _

 

_ Just do it, Isak. _

 

_ You can do it. _

 

“Blue,” Isak says. He can’t even believe he managed to say it.

 

Even’s face changes after he says it though and Isak feels the panic begin to grow in his stomach. He goes from playful and teasing to something that Isak can’t read. Nothing scares him as much as Even finding out his feelings besides when he can’t read how he’s feeling because it’s something he can always do. 

 

Before Isak even attempts to say anything else, Even’s lips grow into a fond smile. A satisfied smile. A hopeful smile. 

 

_ He knows? _

 

-

 

After that, their food comes. They eat and change their subject but the smile on Even’s lips never leaves his face, even on their walk home and when they enter the apartment. 

 

“So,” Even says as he closes the apartment door behind him and starts slipping off his shoes. “Back on the subject of your boy,” he finishes. 

 

Butterflies appear in Isak’s stomach. 

 

_ Shit. _

 

“Yeah?” Isak asks. 

 

“He’s older.”

 

“Yes...”

 

“We’d get along great,” he says, stepping a little closer now.

 

“Yes...” Isak says and gulps. 

 

“You know him through a mutual friend,” he says and this time he places his hand softly on Isak’s cheek, his thumb caressing his soft skin. 

 

“Yeah,” he says. He looks up to Even’s eyes. The blue he loves. The blue Even know he loves. 

 

“And he has blue eyes,” he finishes. 

 

“Yes.” Even’s other hand attaches to Isak’s waist and Isak can’t comprehend what’s happening right now. Even’s eyes lower from his eyes and Isak is sure they’re locked on his lips. 

 

“He sounds like someone I know very well,” Even says and moves in even closer. So close that Isak is ready to move the rest of the way in and do what he’s wanted to do for so long. 

 

“Isak,” Even whispers when Isak doesn’t say anything. All Isak knows is that he’s not ready for the next words that leave Even’s lips. 

 

“Is it me?” he finally asks. 

 

Isak wants to scream. 

 

_ “Yes, you fucking idiot! Now kiss me!” _

 

He kind find the one word he needs to say, so he just stands there. Even’s eyes leave Isak’s lips and connect with Isak’s. He can’t say yes. It’s the one thing he can’t say. 

 

“You know I’ve always loved your blue eyes,” he barely finishes his last word before Even’s lips smash onto his. 

 

He feels his world align, he feels the stress leave his body, he feels every problem in his mind evaporate as Even’s lips mold with his. 

 

He kisses back immediately. Even’s lips are better than he ever imagined. They’re like pillows that were made to fit with Isak’s small lips. His hands tangle into Even’s hair. Even’s tongue runs along Isak’s bottom lip then slips inside his mouth, folding along with Isak’s. 

 

Isak couldn’t wish for anything else in the world except for this to last forever. The way he feels. His body is soft, his mind is empty, and he can finally breathe. 

 

Even pulls back barely and rests their foreheads together, looking deeply into Isak’s eyes. 

 

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” Even admits and Isak feels his heart sore. He smiles and leans into peck Even’s lips again. 

 

“I can say the same thing,” Isak smiles. Just like that, their lips are back together. They attempt to walk but more or less stumble to Isak’s room with their lips still attached. They fall into Isak’s bed and wrap themselves up with each other. 

 

Their legs are tangles, their hands are touching wherever they can, and their lips are sealed together.

 

Isak has never been happier.  

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;))))
> 
> thanks for reading!!  
> feel free the leave comments and kudos


End file.
